“Can I find her head?” - Dave Dobson, after his character Baal used a Panther Cannon to dispatch a woman with valuable headware
“She’s not the bubonic plague.” - Baal (Dave Dobson)
“What’s the target number on a finger?” - Joe Eros
“Cut to musical number in alley.” - Joe Eros
“I wanna kill something that dies!” - Baal (Dave Dobson)
“It’s not your race… it’s that we’re sexist.” - Shaz (Joe Eros)
“Hypothetically…” - Tess (Lester Ward)
“Only a fucking beast armors a sportscar.” - John Wolf
“I’ll interrogate it, I guess; two shots.” - John Wolf
“Can you play a woman for 20 minutes?” - Hatchetman (John Wolf) to the female soldier Shaz (Joe Eros)
“I lied. I’m a man. I do that.” - Hatchetman (John Wolf)
“I suggest that we let the matter drop.” - John the Dick (Bill Gill)
“There was always a rational explanation for the haunting, but they had a dog that could talk.” - Joe Eros on Scooby-Doo
“Throb! Throb! John the Dick is going full scale!” - John the Dick (Bill Gill)
“It’s not my fault she died on the table.” - Dr. Kittregde (Biran Valentine) to Tess (Lester Ward)
“Aaa! Is this gonna work or not?” - Joe Eros
“Neither did this moron.” - Blackwatch (Morgan) on a Child of Sophocles
“oops.” - Orion (Mark)
“Some of the dragons have flown the coup.” - Blackwatch (Morgan), on a dracoform coup d’etat
“I’d like to interject a comment here: eeeekkkkk. That’s it.” - Hatchetman (John Wolf)
“I’m an elephant!” - Nightshift (John Wolf)
“Nice work, Annie Oakley. Really nice move.” - Nightshift (John Wolf) to Shaz (Joe Eros)
“Brian, why are you trying to add realism to this game?” - Bill Gill
“May I borrow your gun for a second?” - Dr. Love (Letser Ward), to Qubec cop
“Cross out the Elvis plan.” - Shaz (Joe Eros)
“This little guy can burrow!” - Nightshift (John Wolf)
“No, uuh, paern, no mas, no mas, ok?” - Nightshift (John Wolf)
“Sarg!” - John the Dick (Bill Gil)
“We’re giving you one last chance to surrender.” - Grendel (John Wolf) to many big people with guns
“O.K., but this still doesn’t solve the problem of getting us off.” - Don Parsley
“That’s dead with an ‘e’.” - Don Parsley quoting a Dan Quayle posergang
“Massive human tradegy.” - John Wolf
“‘Just some good ol’ boys.’” - Don MacDonald
“35,000 nuyen each? Oh yeah, I know a lot of people.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Wow. I have cabinets.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Junior, you see this eyeball?” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Now if this isn’t a Kodak moment.” - Riannon (Don MacDonald)
“So you finally, after a week, decided to clothe this woman.” - Riannon (Don MacDonald)
“Where’s your bike?” - Kathy (Seth Narins as GM) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“Believe me, they’re pretty obedient.” - John Modica
“Aaaa. Fist rule of the street: I never let anyone live who’s funnier than I am.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Allah is nothing if not compassionate.” - Needles (Seth Narins) to Silver Hammer’s sister
“This woman has been pre-beaten.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Their minds are closed…” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“We’ll just tell ’em we’re rock stars.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“But, unfortunately, being a complete idiot, that wouldn’t have occurred to me.” - John Wolf
“The original plan is working.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“The original plan is still working.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“If I woulda known that it only refreshed every scene, I sure wouldn’t’ve wasted one on him.” - Bill Gill
“I thought it was just after-effects of being a zucchini.” - Brian Valentine
“I’m a guy, honey.” - Grendel (John Wolf), in response to "Do you have a box?"
“Oh… by the way… Metzinger porked your sister. I thought you’d just like to know.” - Grendel (John Wolf) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“Have and astral hand-grenade and shut up.” - Don Parsley to Bill Gill
“You ever get the feeling that we’re the only ones with out minds on our work?” - Grendel (John Wolf) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“Oh…sorry… can you walk?” - Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“I think I should kill some of the police people first.” - Umm-Umm (Shimrit)
“It is as if you had stared into your own mind.” - Bill Gill to John Wolf
“I’ve had problems disciplining the help.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Hey Grendel, can we change your name to Oedipus?” - Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“Nothing, because you can’t cross a scalar with a vector.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)
“What you want, soccer ball.” - Worg to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“heucccccccch.” - Brian Valentine
“Is there any way I can get more dice for this roll?” - Adam Shostack
“I’m behind the biggest fuckin’ tree I can find.” - Bill Gill
“Only if he is considered to have a level head, and I don’t think….” - Adam Shostack, on Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)
“I may not be the toughest Zweifler.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“The only way we’re gonna get anywhere in this module is if we actually think.” - John Wolf, controller of Grendel
“Tell him; you and Fudgie were playing with the Cuisinart.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“I get my shit back in the bag…” - John Modica
“Why can this party not get information from someone without killing them?” - Bill Gill (rhetorically)
Itchy (Bill Gill): “What’s come over you? You’re acting civilized?”
Grendel (John Wolf): “What are you kidding? I’ve got a grenade launcher wrapped up in brown paper.”
“We don’t give a fuck. You’re our slave.” - Kiryl (John Modica)
“I gave him some crystal meth. I didn’t tell him what it was.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)
“Oh. That was their leader.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)
“Hey, is Itchy around? We need a hook, man.” - a Brain Eater (Brian Valentine as GM)
“We’ve dealt with the FBI before.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)
“That’s a little fucked up.” - Itchy (Bill Gill), on Tidy Bowl facial scrub
“Well…I can’t think of one right now…” - Loki (Adam Shostack) on snide comments
“Right…forgot about that.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)
“We’re with the John Kavorkian pharmacy.” - Seth Narins
“Wait. How do we know we’re even in Miami?” - Shades (Mitch)
“You are an extremely fast invalid.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)
“The gift shop.” - Brian Valentine, as a hotel manager, indicating where to buy firearms in Miami
“Can I get a permit for threat, use, and intent?” - Loki (Adam Shostack) and Cross (Lester Ward), simultaneously
“They rush you into surgery and do lots of unnecessary tests. They tell you ‘you have a large hole in your chest’.” - Brian Valentine
“No. We’re committing credit fraud.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)
“The thought process wasn’t slow, I just wasn’t thinking about it.” - Bill Gill
“Bah!” - Brian Valentine
“Shit in the Yucatan…is weird.” - Brian Valentine
“It’s the bad humor man.” - Seth Narins
“Now we have a problem.” - Itchy
“OK.” - Patch (Brian Valentine) and Michael (Adam Shostack), simultaneously
“Cast not the pearls before the swine.” - Itchy (Bill Gill), of the Analog Kid (Don Parsley)
“…and the missile hits Icarus Descending.” - Lester Ward
“His character would be better at dropping shit on people than he would.” - Bill Gill
“Look…uh…kiss my ass!” - Itchy (Bill Gill) to Patch (Brian Valentine)
“I’m asking you as a doctor, not a prick, Marid.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)
“Oh, no. I’m just one of the mindless lackies that they pay lots of money to hire.” - The Analog Kid (Don Parsley)
“Is it a free action to wet my pants?” - John Wolf
“The problem with Seattle is all the weirdos.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
Grendel (John Wolf): “Shall we turn the Mighty Penis around and head toward Seattle?”
Silver Hammer (Don Parsley): “Penetrate the mainland?”
“You drive that piece of crap?” - Patch (Brian Valentine) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley), immediately preceding some mass destruction
“I’m sorry Loki, but…shit!” - Itchy
“I’m gonna love this so much. The only thing is, we can’t tell Grissom.” - Itchy
“No, see, that just wasn’t a funny joke Brian.” - Stef
“Hello…” - John Modica to a random 3-yr old who just wandered into our gaming room
“Videotape?” - Mr. Johnson
“This is my cadaver.” - Silence
“Well, let me know if you see one.” - Les, on resourceful shamans
“Getting fooled by a troll is pretty fucking stupid.” - Bill
“I’m not cheap, but I’m Ezian.” - Ezian (Grant McKarron)
“I guess we’re off the hook.” - Sorrow (Lester Ward)
“You looking for a fan belt?” - Ezian (Grant McKarron), on being asked if he was circumsized
“We won’t Grendel this run.” - Don Parsley
“…content in the way cows are.” - Seth Narins
“What about Behemoths?” - Don
“No, why don’t you just kick her jaw?” - Adam
“I’ve always wanted to drive behind a limo.” - Y.T.
“These guys are doing fine.” - Ezian (Grant McKarron)
“They’re not pushing me, I’m moving.” - Don Parsley
“We ate her, we memorized her, then we burned her.” - Seth
“Yeah. T’ some drummer…. Anyway.” - Adam Shostack
“Lemme ask you a question about armadilloes…” - Seth Narins
“She spits out the chrome of a trailer hitch down the block.” - Lester Ward (on Black Betty)
“It all started when I fell out of my highchair into the cleavage of a Spanish woman eating soup.” - Lester Ward’s childhood
“Slut cuts, what can I do to you?” - Y.T. (Adam Shostack)
“I’m ignoring this.” - John Modica
“I’m just waiting for him to ride into the sunset.” - Grant McKerron on Seth
Grant: “You mean to say I got an astral passenger?”
Adam: “Yes, it’s an easy rider.”
“You might want to Baal.” - Adam
“You’re clearly college educated, and thus, less of a physical threat than I am.” - Grendel
“We’re here, we’re queer, you’re dead.” - Adam, quoting an Anal Retentive
“We need cannon-fodder.” - Kadaji
“Bet’cha got mascara under that Prairie Cat.” - Don
“Five hours have passed? Have I recovered any damage?” - Adam, in space
“Oh…he ‘spared us inconvienence’. I see.” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack)
“Cool.” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack) & Sand (Lester Ward)
“I pretend I have a stick up my ass.” - Adam, on imitating Ares personell
Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack): “Let’s depressurize this entire place.” Sand (Lester Ward): “Why?” Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack): “’Cause it’s filled with hallucinegenic mushrooms.”
“Strikes me that this would make one hell of a recreational vehicle.” - Sand
“…shitty finish…” - Adam Shostack & Lester Ward
“I wish I had modifiers for a ribcage.” - John Modica
“What I need is an astral bitch editor.” - Adam Shostack
“Forgiveness is God’s business. I’ll see that you get an early appointment.” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack)
“You know, I’d entirely forgotten that the mage had to die.” - Adam Shostack
“Yeah. We’ll try not to be conspicuous.” - Bullwyncl (Don Parsley)
“Is this the Enemy? Or just some naked woman walking down the street?” - Seth Narins
“What does the car look like, by the way?” - Don Parsley
“Cthulhu?” - Bullwyncl (Don Parsley), giving Sand (Lester Ward) a name
“Well, if I blew my own head off, would it take all the fun out of it for you?” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“We contributed.” - Sand (Lester Ward)
“Strider, you’re a virgin!” - Bullwyncl (Don Parsley)
“People have been known to kill for Peiking duck.” - Grendel (John Wolf)
“Why don’t we silently go mad?” - Don Parsley
“I’ll chase my tail for a couple of minutes.” - Seth Narins
“Otherwise we will send you flowers in a hostile manner.” - Jeff Harrold
“Ha ha! I knew it was brilliant!” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack)
“I think that was the last good idea we had.” - Jeff Harrold
“He’s waxing his shillelagh.” - Seth Narins
“No, but I’ll give you money.” - Rutherford (Rob Sama)
“And besides…we’ll cheat.” - ROM (Jeff Harrold)
“You are being very faithful to your god…but I do not think you are worshipping the god in this magazine.” - spritual advisor (Don Parsley)
“You’re not borrowing any money at four to one."
“As a matter of fact, I’ve danced with the devil on the pale moonlight.” - Sand (Lester Ward)
“…I guess…ahoy…is…” - Syrinx (Don Parsley)
“I can’t belive I married into this family.” - ROM
“Dreeeeam-weavah.” - Don
“Named worst-dressed sentient being five times running.” - Ezian
“I think I’m gonna find myself a less problematic bar.” - Adam
“Bill…” - ROM (Jeff Harrold)
“…Homes, can you get me a water bottle?” - Jeff
“What the hell is Microsoft?” - Raygun
“Is that too many cigarettes keeping you trembling, or is it that I’m sitting so close?” - ROM
“…if there is one thing life has taught me, it’s that troubling chaos follows me wherever I go.” - ROM
“Give him Bill.” - ROM and Sand about large green spirit
“No, the sinking feeling started a long time ago.” - Adam and Jeff, simultaneously
“Do we look like terrorists?” - Syrinx
“As the Tir turns…” - Jeff, on Syrinx’s familial comments
“We wouldn’t dare have anything chafe.” - Armor salesman (Seth)
“Make it three…” - John Wolf
“What? What? Rosebud?” - Grendel to a dying Holmes
“I’m out of pistol range.” - Syrinx to ROM
“If I kill him with coffee…” - Adam
“Ankst.” - Les and Don
“Was that for 5 at 7:00 or 7 at 5:00?” - Ezian, new owner, Icarus Descending
“Hey! We’ve destroyed your resaurant before.” - Adam
“Guess who’s coming to dinner?” - Jeff
“Oh, I’m just cleaning up around the house.” - Frank Drebin (Seth)
ROM: “Who got laid in Ireland? OK.”
Ezian: “That’s like saying you’re world famous in Poland.”
“Welcome to revisionist history.” - Syrinx
Syrinx: “Third body bag on the left?”
Insurance Man: “Actually, that’s Mr. Dworkin.”
“What comes out of your pocket goes to us.” - Conglomerated Allstate
“Mmm. I have necklace of assholes.” - Don
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” - Syrinx
“Fat bitch.” - Syrinx (Don Parsley) to a quickly dying Sand (Lester Ward)
“Severe extra tip in it for you.” - Joss