Shadowrun Quotes

“Can I find her head?” - Dave Dobson, after his character Baal used a Panther Cannon to dispatch a woman with valuable headware

“She’s not the bubonic plague.” - Baal (Dave Dobson)

“What’s the target number on a finger?” - Joe Eros

“Cut to musical number in alley.” - Joe Eros

“I wanna kill something that dies!” - Baal (Dave Dobson)

“It’s not your race… it’s that we’re sexist.” - Shaz (Joe Eros)

“Hypothetically…” - Tess (Lester Ward)

“Only a fucking beast armors a sportscar.” - John Wolf

“I’ll interrogate it, I guess; two shots.” - John Wolf

“Can you play a woman for 20 minutes?” - Hatchetman (John Wolf) to the female soldier Shaz (Joe Eros)

“I lied. I’m a man. I do that.” - Hatchetman (John Wolf)

“I suggest that we let the matter drop.” - John the Dick (Bill Gill)

“There was always a rational explanation for the haunting, but they had a dog that could talk.” - Joe Eros on Scooby-Doo

“Throb! Throb! John the Dick is going full scale!” - John the Dick (Bill Gill)

“It’s not my fault she died on the table.” - Dr. Kittregde (Biran Valentine) to Tess (Lester Ward)

“Aaa! Is this gonna work or not?” - Joe Eros

“Neither did this moron.” - Blackwatch (Morgan) on a Child of Sophocles

“oops.” - Orion (Mark)

“Some of the dragons have flown the coup.” - Blackwatch (Morgan), on a dracoform coup d’etat

“I’d like to interject a comment here: eeeekkkkk. That’s it.” - Hatchetman (John Wolf)

“I’m an elephant!” - Nightshift (John Wolf)

“Nice work, Annie Oakley. Really nice move.” - Nightshift (John Wolf) to Shaz (Joe Eros)

“Brian, why are you trying to add realism to this game?” - Bill Gill

“May I borrow your gun for a second?” - Dr. Love (Letser Ward), to Qubec cop

“Cross out the Elvis plan.” - Shaz (Joe Eros)

“This little guy can burrow!” - Nightshift (John Wolf)

“No, uuh, paern, no mas, no mas, ok?” - Nightshift (John Wolf)

Sarg!” - John the Dick (Bill Gil)

“We’re giving you one last chance to surrender.” - Grendel (John Wolf) to many big people with guns

“O.K., but this still doesn’t solve the problem of getting us off.” - Don Parsley

“That’s dead with an ‘e’.” - Don Parsley quoting a Dan Quayle posergang

“Massive human tradegy.” - John Wolf

“‘Just some good ol’ boys.’” - Don MacDonald

“35,000 nuyen each? Oh yeah, I know a lot of people.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Wow. I have cabinets.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Junior, you see this eyeball?” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Now if this isn’t a Kodak moment.” - Riannon (Don MacDonald)

“So you finally, after a week, decided to clothe this woman.” - Riannon (Don MacDonald)

“Where’s your bike?” - Kathy (Seth Narins as GM) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“Believe me, they’re pretty obedient.” - John Modica

“Aaaa. Fist rule of the street: I never let anyone live who’s funnier than I am.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Allah is nothing if not compassionate.” - Needles (Seth Narins) to Silver Hammer’s sister

“This woman has been pre-beaten.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Their minds are closed…” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“We’ll just tell ’em we’re rock stars.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“But, unfortunately, being a complete idiot, that wouldn’t have occurred to me.” - John Wolf

“The original plan is working.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“The original plan is still working.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“If I woulda known that it only refreshed every scene, I sure wouldn’t’ve wasted one on him.” - Bill Gill

“I thought it was just after-effects of being a zucchini.” - Brian Valentine

“I’m a guy, honey.” - Grendel (John Wolf), in response to "Do you have a box?"

“Oh… by the way… Metzinger porked your sister. I thought you’d just like to know.” - Grendel (John Wolf) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“Have and astral hand-grenade and shut up.” - Don Parsley to Bill Gill

“You ever get the feeling that we’re the only ones with out minds on our work?” - Grendel (John Wolf) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“Oh…sorry… can you walk?” - Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“I think I should kill some of the police people first.” - Umm-Umm (Shimrit)

“It is as if you had stared into your own mind.” - Bill Gill to John Wolf

“I’ve had problems disciplining the help.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Hey Grendel, can we change your name to Oedipus?” - Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“Nothing, because you can’t cross a scalar with a vector.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)

“What you want, soccer ball.” - Worg to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“heucccccccch.” - Brian Valentine

“Is there any way I can get more dice for this roll?” - Adam Shostack

“I’m behind the biggest fuckin’ tree I can find.” - Bill Gill

“Only if he is considered to have a level head, and I don’t think….” - Adam Shostack, on Silver Hammer (Don Parsley)

“I may not be the toughest Zweifler.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“The only way we’re gonna get anywhere in this module is if we actually think.” - John Wolf, controller of Grendel

“Tell him; you and Fudgie were playing with the Cuisinart.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“I get my shit back in the bag…” - John Modica

“Why can this party not get information from someone without killing them?” - Bill Gill (rhetorically)

Itchy (Bill Gill): “What’s come over you? You’re acting civilized?”
Grendel (John Wolf): “What are you kidding? I’ve got a grenade launcher wrapped up in brown paper.”

“We don’t give a fuck. You’re our slave.” - Kiryl (John Modica)

“I gave him some crystal meth. I didn’t tell him what it was.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)

“Oh. That was their leader.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)

“Hey, is Itchy around? We need a hook, man.” - a Brain Eater (Brian Valentine as GM)

“We’ve dealt with the FBI before.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)

“That’s a little fucked up.” - Itchy (Bill Gill), on Tidy Bowl facial scrub

“Well…I can’t think of one right now…” - Loki (Adam Shostack) on snide comments

“Right…forgot about that.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)

“We’re with the John Kavorkian pharmacy.” - Seth Narins

“Wait. How do we know we’re even in Miami?” - Shades (Mitch)

“You are an extremely fast invalid.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)

“The gift shop.” - Brian Valentine, as a hotel manager, indicating where to buy firearms in Miami

“Can I get a permit for threat, use, and intent?” - Loki (Adam Shostack) and Cross (Lester Ward), simultaneously

“They rush you into surgery and do lots of unnecessary tests. They tell you ‘you have a large hole in your chest’.” - Brian Valentine

“No. We’re committing credit fraud.” - Loki (Adam Shostack)

“The thought process wasn’t slow, I just wasn’t thinking about it.” - Bill Gill

“Bah!” - Brian Valentine

“Shit in the Yucatan…is weird.” - Brian Valentine

“It’s the bad humor man.” - Seth Narins

“Now we have a problem.” - Itchy

“OK.” - Patch (Brian Valentine) and Michael (Adam Shostack), simultaneously

“Cast not the pearls before the swine.” - Itchy (Bill Gill), of the Analog Kid (Don Parsley)

“…and the missile hits Icarus Descending.” - Lester Ward

“His character would be better at dropping shit on people than he would.” - Bill Gill

“Look…uh…kiss my ass!” - Itchy (Bill Gill) to Patch (Brian Valentine)

“I’m asking you as a doctor, not a prick, Marid.” - Itchy (Bill Gill)

“Oh, no. I’m just one of the mindless lackies that they pay lots of money to hire.” - The Analog Kid (Don Parsley)

“Is it a free action to wet my pants?” - John Wolf

“The problem with Seattle is all the weirdos.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

Grendel (John Wolf): “Shall we turn the Mighty Penis around and head toward Seattle?”
Silver Hammer (Don Parsley): “Penetrate the mainland?”

“You drive that piece of crap?” - Patch (Brian Valentine) to Silver Hammer (Don Parsley), immediately preceding some mass destruction

“I’m sorry Loki, but…shit!” - Itchy

“I’m gonna love this so much. The only thing is, we can’t tell Grissom.” - Itchy

“No, see, that just wasn’t a funny joke Brian.” - Stef

“Hello…” - John Modica to a random 3-yr old who just wandered into our gaming room

“Videotape?” - Mr. Johnson

“This is my cadaver.” - Silence

“Well, let me know if you see one.” - Les, on resourceful shamans

“Getting fooled by a troll is pretty fucking stupid.” - Bill

“I’m not cheap, but I’m Ezian.” - Ezian (Grant McKarron)

“I guess we’re off the hook.” - Sorrow (Lester Ward)

“You looking for a fan belt?” - Ezian (Grant McKarron), on being asked if he was circumsized

“We won’t Grendel this run.” - Don Parsley

“…content in the way cows are.” - Seth Narins

“What about Behemoths?” - Don

“No, why don’t you just kick her jaw?” - Adam

“I’ve always wanted to drive behind a limo.” - Y.T.

“These guys are doing fine.” - Ezian (Grant McKarron)

“They’re not pushing me, I’m moving.” - Don Parsley

“We ate her, we memorized her, then we burned her.” - Seth

“Yeah. T’ some drummer…. Anyway.” - Adam Shostack

“Lemme ask you a question about armadilloes…” - Seth Narins

“She spits out the chrome of a trailer hitch down the block.” - Lester Ward (on Black Betty)

“It all started when I fell out of my highchair into the cleavage of a Spanish woman eating soup.” - Lester Ward’s childhood

“Slut cuts, what can I do to you?” - Y.T. (Adam Shostack)

“I’m ignoring this.” - John Modica

“I’m just waiting for him to ride into the sunset.” - Grant McKerron on Seth

Grant: “You mean to say I got an astral passenger?”
Adam: “Yes, it’s an easy rider.”

“You might want to Baal.” - Adam

“You’re clearly college educated, and thus, less of a physical threat than I am.” - Grendel

“We’re here, we’re queer, you’re dead.” - Adam, quoting an Anal Retentive

“We need cannon-fodder.” - Kadaji

“Bet’cha got mascara under that Prairie Cat.” - Don

“Five hours have passed? Have I recovered any damage?” - Adam, in space

“Oh…he ‘spared us inconvienence’. I see.” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack)

“Cool.” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack) & Sand (Lester Ward)

“I pretend I have a stick up my ass.” - Adam, on imitating Ares personell

Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack): “Let’s depressurize this entire place.” Sand (Lester Ward): “Why?” Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack): “’Cause it’s filled with hallucinegenic mushrooms.”

“Strikes me that this would make one hell of a recreational vehicle.” - Sand

“…shitty finish…” - Adam Shostack & Lester Ward

“I wish I had modifiers for a ribcage.” - John Modica

“What I need is an astral bitch editor.” - Adam Shostack

“Forgiveness is God’s business. I’ll see that you get an early appointment.” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack)

“You know, I’d entirely forgotten that the mage had to die.” - Adam Shostack

“Yeah. We’ll try not to be conspicuous.” - Bullwyncl (Don Parsley)

“Is this the Enemy? Or just some naked woman walking down the street?” - Seth Narins

“What does the car look like, by the way?” - Don Parsley

“Cthulhu?” - Bullwyncl (Don Parsley), giving Sand (Lester Ward) a name

“Well, if I blew my own head off, would it take all the fun out of it for you?” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“We contributed.” - Sand (Lester Ward)

“Strider, you’re a virgin!” - Bullwyncl (Don Parsley)

“People have been known to kill for Peiking duck.” - Grendel (John Wolf)

“Why don’t we silently go mad?” - Don Parsley

“I’ll chase my tail for a couple of minutes.” - Seth Narins

“Otherwise we will send you flowers in a hostile manner.” - Jeff Harrold

“Ha ha! I knew it was brilliant!” - Mickey Mouse (Adam Shostack)

“I think that was the last good idea we had.” - Jeff Harrold

“He’s waxing his shillelagh.” - Seth Narins

“No, but I’ll give you money.” - Rutherford (Rob Sama)

“And besides…we’ll cheat.” - ROM (Jeff Harrold)

“You are being very faithful to your god…but I do not think you are worshipping the god in this magazine.” - spritual advisor (Don Parsley)

“You’re not borrowing any money at four to one."

“As a matter of fact, I’ve danced with the devil on the pale moonlight.” - Sand (Lester Ward)

“…I guess…ahoy…is…” - Syrinx (Don Parsley)

“I can’t belive I married into this family.” - ROM

“Dreeeeam-weavah.” - Don

“Named worst-dressed sentient being five times running.” - Ezian

“I think I’m gonna find myself a less problematic bar.” - Adam

“Bill…” - ROM (Jeff Harrold)

“…Homes, can you get me a water bottle?” - Jeff

“What the hell is Microsoft?” - Raygun

“Is that too many cigarettes keeping you trembling, or is it that I’m sitting so close?” - ROM

“…if there is one thing life has taught me, it’s that troubling chaos follows me wherever I go.” - ROM

“Give him Bill.” - ROM and Sand about large green spirit

“No, the sinking feeling started a long time ago.” - Adam and Jeff, simultaneously

“Do we look like terrorists?” - Syrinx

“As the Tir turns…” - Jeff, on Syrinx’s familial comments

“We wouldn’t dare have anything chafe.” - Armor salesman (Seth)

“Make it three…” - John Wolf

“What? What? Rosebud?” - Grendel to a dying Holmes

“I’m out of pistol range.” - Syrinx to ROM

“If I kill him with coffee…” - Adam

“Ankst.” - Les and Don

“Was that for 5 at 7:00 or 7 at 5:00?” - Ezian, new owner, Icarus Descending

“Hey! We’ve destroyed your resaurant before.” - Adam

“Guess who’s coming to dinner?” - Jeff

“Oh, I’m just cleaning up around the house.” - Frank Drebin (Seth)

ROM: “Who got laid in Ireland? OK.”
Ezian: “That’s like saying you’re world famous in Poland.”

“Welcome to revisionist history.” - Syrinx

Syrinx: “Third body bag on the left?”
Insurance Man: “Actually, that’s Mr. Dworkin.”

“What comes out of your pocket goes to us.” - Conglomerated Allstate

“Mmm. I have necklace of assholes.” - Don

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” - Syrinx

“Fat bitch.” - Syrinx (Don Parsley) to a quickly dying Sand (Lester Ward)

“Severe extra tip in it for you.” - Joss